The Brave Corpse Bride
by teamEdward43v3r
Summary: They were due to be married, but had never before met Jack's Parents were thrilled Elsa's were filled with regret but in a moment of panic Jack desperately fled and by a "Grave" Misunderstanding... Married the Brave Corpse Bride instead. a jelsa/jarida twist on my favorite Tim Burton Movie written with my friend moon from inkvite
1. Chapter 1: According to plan

Chapter 1: according to plan Jack stared miserably out the window of his second story bedroom, then stared back at the green butterfly, fluttering around in a jar, that he was drawing.

He felt like a butterfly captured in a jar. He kept drawing until he heard his mother downstairs

"Jackson! It's time to go! We need to do our rehearsal!"

Jack groaned and trudged down the stairs "It's a beautiful day-!" His mother said,  
"It's a rather nice day-" said his father. "A day for a glorious wedding!"

"A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear-"  
"A rehearsal for a glorious wedding!"  
"Well assuming nothing happens, but we don't really know-"  
"That nothin really happens that interferes with the show-"  
"And that's why everything Every single little thing Every single microscopic thing must go-  
According to plan!"

Jack groaned once again, but even that couldn't keep his parents from their happy mood. "Cheer up son," his father said. Jack ignored his father as he groaned again. It was his third groan and his parents kind of ignored him by now .

"You shouldn't act like this son. You're about to meet your future wife," his father said. Yeah. He didn't need to be reminded. All he knew was his future wife was named Elsa. This Elsa could be the biggest fattest ugliest girl ever, it even sounded like a fat girl's name, I mean people named their COWS Elsa. He shut his eyes and thought it wasn't fair to call her ugly before he met her, but it still made him nervous.

It wasn't that he feared she would be ugly. He feared, that he would not like her. His life was a mess. It wasn't fair either to take his anger at her or anyone else. He huffed loudly causing his mom to scowl as he sort of pouted.

The carriage driver drove their carriage to the Arendelle mansion. This was going to be interesting he thought. Thirteen minutes later they had arrived. Elsa parents were different. He didn't expect them to be so cold, restrained.

They didn't talk much. He was rather upset. He didn't expect her parents to be this cruel. "I'm going to get something," He said out loud. He got up from the uncomfortable chair. Quietly He got out the room before they could say something. He walked back to the entrance. And there stood a black piano, He smiled as He remembered when mom had me take piano lessons as a kid, he smiled and absentmindedly stroked the keys. He felt warmth in the pit of his stomach. Just a sound of piano brought his mood up. He loved the sound. But it had been ages since He played.

Then he heard a small sound, like a dove "Excuse me...?" She said softly. Jack moved away from the piano quickly. "I didn't mean to touch it. I'm s-s-sorry," Jack stuttered. "It was beautiful," Elsa finally said after three minutes. "YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALONE TOGETHER!" Elsa's mom called. He saw Elsa jump slightly. Was she scared of her mom?  



	2. Chapter 2: with this hand

"No! You STILL haven't gotten your vows right- AGAIN!" The preacher, revered Weselton, growled.  
It was 9 pm and the practice was still going on because Jack was so nervous he kept messing up. Elsa wanted to help, but couldn't. Jack cleared his throat wishing he could disappear. "I'm sorry," he said. His father told Elsa's parents they would be back the next day. Jack kissed Elsa goodnight on the cheek. And then he left with his parents.  
A young man with red hair who had come to visit confronted Elsa's father, handing him his business card "Lord Hans?" Elsa's father whispered to his wife, "is he a relative of yours?"

"I can't recall..." She said

He had decided to go on a walk. It was dark and scary, but he didn't mind as he practiced his vows. "With this cup..." He began to say. "Oh no, that doesn't sound good," he said. He smoothed his hair back once again. "With this hand... I will take your wine...? Ugh. No..." He grumbled, out loud. And then he knew what to say. It was like he now understood words. " with this hand... I will lift your sorrows, your cup will never empty for I will be your wine. With this candle. I will light your way in darkness...with this ring I ask you to be mine." He put his golden ring on a branch and smiled triumphantly. All of a sudden the ground started to shake. He backed away. A skeleton hand with the ring on it laid on the ground. As the ground shook. A face popped out of the ground Jack shrieked in horror a very uncharacteristic sound for him

"I do." The corpse bride whispered happily, "you may kiss the bride."

And he ran.  
The corpse bride giggled "Sweetheart where are you going?" Jack accidentally bumped into a tree. And one more time after that he bumped into a tree. He groaned in pain, before he blacked out. The Corpse Bride looked at her new husband lovingly. She started to drag him by his feet. And they had disappeared into the ground in an instant.  



	3. Chapter 3: the story of the corpse bride

Jack could hear voices as he slowly regained consciousness, and at first he thought he had only had a nightmare.

"Ooh! He's waking up!"

"Hey! He's still soft!"

Jack kept hearing different voices. As he opened his eyes he screamed at the sight. He saw a skeletal boy, around eight, the corpse bride, a spider, and several other animate corpses. "What are you guys?" Jack asked. The corpse bride said, " oh goodness! You said your vows so perfectly!"

Jack gasped "Ohh I did..." He wanted this nightmare to end now . He looked around trying to find a escape, but came empty handed. Jack started to panic and grabbed a nearby sword

"I got a- I got a-" and he realized it was stuck in a short skeletal man, he grimaced as he looked around the bar "Dwarf. And I'm not afraid to use him! I want some questions now!"  
"Answers I think you mean answers." Said the dwarf "Answers, that's right thank you.  
I need answers! What's going on here?! Where am I?! Who are you?!"

The corpse bride ran a hand through her unruly red locks shyly

"Well... That's kind of a long story..." She said

"What a story it is!" Said a skeleton with a bowler hat called bonejangles as a spotlight shine on him, "a tragic tale of romance... Passion...  
And a murder most foul!" He continued as a crowd of skeletons and corpses gathered around

"Hit it boys." He said to a jazz band of skeletons

A piano started playing and the bowler hat skeleton guy smiled "Hey! Give me a listen, you corpses of cheer ('Least those of you who still got an ear)

I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry

Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride!" The crowd cheered

"Bonejangles is gonna sing a song you guys!" Cheered a corpse

"Die, die we all pass away

We don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay

You might try 'n' hide

And you might try 'n' pray

But we all end up the remains of the day Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeahhh!" Sang the jazz band

"Well our girl was a beauty known for miles around

'Till a mysterious stranger came into town

He was plenty good lookin', but down on his cash

And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast

When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope

So our lovers came up with a plan to elope!"

"Die, die we all pass away

We don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay

You might try 'n' hide

And you might try 'n' pray

But we all end up the remains of the day Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeahhh!" Sang the jazz band Then Bonejangles continued

"So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night

They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight

Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove

You don't need much when you're really in love

Except for a few things, (or so I'm told)

Like the family jewels and a satchel of gold

Then next to the grave yard by the old oak tree

On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three

She was ready to go, but where was he...?!"

"And then? " Said the head chef

"She waited." Said Bonejangles

"And then?" Said another

"There in the shadows, was it her man?" Said Bonejangles

"And then?" Said another

"Her little heart beat so loud!" Said Bonejangles

"And then?" The group said

"And then baby, everything went black..." Bonejangles said darkly, Jack gasped in shock

"Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust

Her jewels were missin' and her heart was bust

So she made a vow lyin' under that tree

That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free

Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand

When out of the blue comes this groovy young man

Who vows forever to be by her side

And that's the story of our corpse bride!" Bonejangles belted out, the corpse bride clapped excitedly but when she turned to her new husband Jack he was gone.  
-

Hi guys! I always found this scene to be my favorite scene in the whole movie, I hope you liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!  



	4. Chapter 4: Approve of me?

Jack stared at the wall-  
It was a dead end.

"Jack! Jack where did you go?!" The bride called sweetly, so Jack started climbing.  
He was almost at the top when he froze: there she was, she chuckled "Could have used the stairs silly!" She tugged him up and he sat on a half rotten couch made from a coffin, in awe of her: despite her being dead for so many years, she was still very beautiful.

She twirled in pure happiness,  
And looked over the wire fence that was the only thing that kept her from falling several feet to the ground.  
"Isn't the view just romantic? It takes my breath away!" She exclaimed, then she chuckled, "well it would if I had any..."

She sat down next to Jack and smiled dreamily.  
Jack cleared his throat.

"Look... I'm so sorry about what happened to you, and I'd like to help... But I have to go home!" He said anxiously as he looked at the ring with the moon shaped opal still on the young girl's skeletal finger.

"But this is your home now!" She said innocently

"But I don't even know your name!" He said

"Gee... That's a great way to start a marriage..." Said a gruff voice in the girl's head, she clamped her hands over her ears and whispered "shut up!" Then she turned and smiled at Jack.  
"It's Merida." She said gently

"Merida..." Jack said thoughtfully.  
Then Merida's eyes widened and she snapped her fingers "Oh! I almost forgot! I have something for you!" She said excitedly, she handed him a small green box with a golden ribbon tied around it, it matched the trim on her wedding dress. Jack stared at it in confusion.  
"It's a wedding present!" Merida said encouragingly

Jack gently opened the box and gasped... His face turned a sick green color, inside was the skeleton of a small animal...

He chuckled weakly and set the box beside him, but the box fell over, its contents spilling out onto the ground. The skeleton lay in pieces for a moment, then the bones started to rattle, connecting to each other like magnets, finally Jack could see it was the skeleton of a small dog, it's collar still around its neck. And to Jack's surprise... It barked! It trotted up to Jack and laid it's head on his lap, Jack felt this was strangely familiar and took a good look at its collar. He stopped. Could it be?

"Scraps?" Jack said, thinking he was stupid for not having guessed before, but his mother had told him when the Jack Russell terrier died when he was 17 that dogs don't have souls.  
The dog barked in response and wagged its bony tail

"SCRAPS! MY DOG SCRAPS!" Jack cried out in glee, the dog leaped happily into his lap. Merida giggled.  
"I knew you'd be happy to see him!" She said proudly, "he told me everything about you!"  
The dog jumped from Jack's lap

"Sit! Sit Scraps sit!" Jack said.  
And Scraps sat.  
"Oh you're such a good boy! Roll over! Roll over!" Jack said happily, And Scraps did.  
"Play dead!" Jack said, the dog whined pathetically and Jack winced,  
"Sorry." He mumbled

The dog jumped into Merida's lap and Merida grinned ear to ear.

"What a cutie!" She exclaimed "You should have seen him with fur!" Jack said proudly, "mother never approved of him jumping up like this... Then again... Mother never approved of anything." "Would your mother have approved of me...?" Merida said shyly "You're lucky you'll never have to meet her..." Jack said, then he smiles, he had a plan to get back home.  
"Actually... I think you should! And my father too! We could go see them right now!" He said excitedly

"OH WHAT A FANTASTIC IDEA! Where are they buried?!" Merida said cheerfully, Jack winced. "They're not from around here..." He said "Well where are they?" Merida said, puzzled, thinking that shouldn't be a problem... Until she noticed Jack was pointing above their heads.  
"Oh they're still alive!" Merida groaned

"I'm afraid so..." Jack said "Well that is a problem..." Said Merida, as she thought, then she turned when Scraps barked at her.

"No no we couldn't possibly..." Merida said to the little dog, he barked back,  
"Well well... When you put it that way..." Merida said thoughtfully

"What?" Said Jack.

"Elder Pabbie..." Said Merida 


	5. Chapter 5: Elder Pabbie

Merida, Jack, and Scraps went into a tower into a room filled with books.  
"Elder Pabbie... Where are you?" Merida called, "elder Pabbie...?"  
Jack tripped over a stack of books, knocking them down and disturbing a murder of crows (A/N yes a group of crows or Ravens is called a murder) they landed on a desk where a feeble old troll sat Merida smiled hugely.  
"There you are!" She said gently the troll turned around Merida dwarfed him, being three times taller than him, Jack being two and a half.  
"Ah my dear!" The troll cried out in surprise.  
"I've brought my husband Jack!" Merida said gleefully "Uhh what's that? Husband?" Said elder Pabbie, who was clearly hard of hearing "Pleasure to meet you sir!" Jack said loudly so the troll could hear him.  
"Elder Pabbie we would like to go upstairs... to the land of the living...? Jack wants me to meet his parents..." Merida said hesitantly "The land of the living?!" Elder Pabbie echoed in confusion, "why go up there when people are dying to get down here?!"

"It means so much to me..." Jack pleaded The troll scratched his head, then shrugged, and took a huge dusty old book from the bookshelf beside flipped through the pages until he found something and smiled "The Ukrainian haunting spell. Just the thing for short trips like this!" He said, then took a sip from his golden wine glass.  
"Now where were we?" Elder Pabbie said, the bride and groom looked at each other in confusion, then looked up at Elder Pabbie.  
"The Ukrainian haunting spell?" Said Merida gently the troll nodded, took an egg from the nest of a nearby crow and said "Now when you want to come back, just say 'hopscotch!'"  
"Hopscotch?" Merida giggled "That's it..." Said Elder Pabbie as he cracked the crow egg over their heads.

And then there was blackness...

Hey guys! I need somebody to be Mayhew but I can't think of a character...  
Any ideas?  



	6. Chapter 6:Cold feet

Merida stared up at the moon above them as Jack contemplated his escape.  
"I've spent so much time in darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is..." Merida murmured A green moth flew by Merida and her teal blue eyes widened, She started to sway, then she started to dance. Then she tripped over a root at her skeletal leg fell off. She tumbled to the ground. The maggot in her head looked out her ear and said "Psst! I think you dropped something."  
Merida quickly fastened her leg again and started to dance. Jack sat her down and looked her in the eyes and said "I have to prepare my parents for the big news I'll go ahead you wait here! No peeking!"  
Merida giggled and her wild red curls draped over her face like a curtain.  
And Jack rushed to town.

Fifteen minutes later, Merida was starting to get anxious, "Merida, this is your conscience... Listen to what I say-" said a voice in her head, Merida scowled and pulled the annoying maggot out of her ear.  
"Go chew on someone else's ear for a while!" Spat Merida.  
"If I wasn't just sitting in it, I'd fear you'd lost your mind!" The maggot said "I'm sure Jack has a perfectly good reason for taking so long..." Merida said hopefully.  
"Well then why don't you ask him?" The maggot said looking at Jack's footprints in the snow, "he can't have gone far with his cold feet."  



	7. Chapter 7:The other woman

Jack climbed up the trellis covered in moonflowers (flowers that look like morning glories that only bloom at night) on the side of the Arendelle estate "Whenever I see that blasted Overland boy I'll strangle him with my bare hands!" Mr. Arendelle grumbled from downstairs "Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin..." Said Mrs. Arendelle Jack shuddered and continued climbing.  
He got to the balcony of Elsa's room, and climbed over the railing, gasping when he fell on his face to the floor. He could see Elsa sewing a tiny quilt for a cradle for her future children, Jack smiled adoringly, then knocked on the glass door.  
Elsa's head shot up, startled, then she looked out and saw Jack and gasped, eternally grateful that he was alive.  
She opened the double doors and when he walked in she hugged him tightly, never wanting to let him go again.  
"Oh Jack! I'm so happy to see you! Come by the fire!" She dragged him to her little sofa by her fireplace.  
"Jack! You're as cold as death! Are you all right?" Elsa asked, then she noticed the tears in his sport coat.  
"Your coat!" She said in alarm.  
"Elsa... I confess... Before I met you I was terrified of marriage, but then...  
When I met you...  
I realized, that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,  
What with your gentleness, your smarts, your wit, your patience, and your beauty, And I found that tomorrow couldn't come soon enough!"  
Elsa's eyes were wet with unshed happy tears,  
"Jack... I feel the same..." She whispered, Jack gulped, he had never kissed a girl before, but he would try, for her, because he wasn't sure he'd see her again.  
So he leaned in, and kissed her, it was a kiss so passionate, so pure, the kiss of true love. Jack gently pulled away, then gasped when he saw Merida climbing onto the balcony.  
"E-Elsa! I-I seem to find myself married! And you should know it's unexpected-!" But before he could finish Merida opened the door, and stumbled in, her veil covering her eyes!

"Jack darling I just wanted to-" she moved her veil out of her face and saw Jack and Elsa, she blinked in confusion Jack went paler than his usual pale.  
"Darling... Who is this?" Merida asked gently "Who is she?!" Elsa said in alarm, slightly jealous of this woman.  
"I'm his wife!" Merida said bitterly, extending her skeletal hand to reveal bony fingers and Elsa's wedding band.  
When Elsa realized that she was a living breathing corpse she looked at Jack in exasperation.  
"Jack?!" She asked in confusion and disgust and alarm and a slight pang of jealousy. Jack started to panic "No! Elsa! You don't understand- she's dead!" Said Jack, wiggling Merida's bony hand, she yanked her hand away from him, eyes narrowed and said "Hopscotch!" She grabbed his coat and dragged him outside as they were pulled back!  
Elsa reached for Jack, Jack reached for Elsa, but neither could reach the other "No! No! ELSA!" He called as he was dragged off with Merida.

Merida shoved Jack away from her once they were back at Elder Pabbie's.  
"YOU LIED TO ME! Just to get back to that other woman!" Merida screeched "Don't you understand?! You're the other woman!" Jack growled in rage.  
"NO! YOU'RE MARRIED TO ME! SHE'S THE OTHER WOMAN!" Merida sobbed tearless broken sobs.  
"She's got a point..." Said Elder Pabbie quietly.  
"And I thought- I thought it was all going so well!" Merida sobbed, she then literally proceeded to cry her left eye out.  
It rolled across the floor, an orb of black, white, and Aqua blue. Jack, disgusted, picked up the eyeball and gave it to Merida, who pushed it back in...  
"Look... This just can't work..." Jack said gently.  
"Why not?" Said Merida, "it's my eye isn't it...?" "No no... Your eye is lovely, Merida, under different circumstances, who knows, but we're just too different!" Jack said Merida sniffled and said "You should have thought about that when you asked me to marry you..." "Merida don't you understand I was a mistake I'd never marry you!" Jack blurted out, then covered his mouth, why would I say that? He thought, Merida's eyes widened in shock and sadness, and she sulked off down the stairs to the little place that she gave Jack his wedding present.


	8. Chapter 8:tears to shed

Merida could literally hear her eyes roll when she felt miss spider land on her shoulder.

"Why so blue...?" She said, Merida put her face in her hands and sighed

"Maybe he's right... Maybe we are too different..." She said "Maybe he should have his head examined..." Said a familiar voice, Merida scowled and pulled the tiny maggot out of her ear "I could do it!" He said "Or perhaps he DOES belong with her... Little miss living... With her rosy cheeks and beating heart..."

Miss Spider shushed her gently like a mother would a small child, and said "Oh those girls are ten a penny! You've got so much more! You've got..." But she stopped, stumped for a moment, "You've got... Oh! You've got a wonderful personality!" She said, Merida rolled her eyes,  
"Nice save." Merida said sarcastically "What does that wispy little brat have that you don't have double?!" The maggot said "She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile!" Said Miss Spider cheerily "How about a pulse?" Merida said, scowling at her skeletal wrist.  
"Overrated by a mile!" Said the maggot "Over valued!" Shouted miss Spider "Overblown!"  
" if he only knew the you that we know!" They both said together, Merida sighed.

"And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring!" Miss Spider said, pointing one of her long legs to the silver ring around her finger.  
"And she doesn't play piano!" Said the maggot "Or dance!" Said miss Spider "Or sing!" Said the maggot.

"No she doesn't compare!" They said

"But she still breathes air!" Merida grumbled "Who cares?!" Said the Maggot and Miss Spider defiantly "Unimportant!"  
"Overrated!"  
"Overblown!"  
"If only he could see how special you can be! If he only knew the you that we know!"

Merida got up and looked out across the underground city from the railings sadly.

"If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain, You can cut me with a knife it's still the same...  
And I know her heart is beating...  
and I know that I am dead...  
Yet the pain here that I feel... Try and tell me it's not real...  
And it seems that I still have a tear to shed..."

The maggot and Miss Spider crawled up on Merida's shoulder.

"The sole redeeming feature, of that little creature is that she's alive!" The maggot said "Overrated!" Chimed in Miss Spider "Overblown!" Agreed the maggot

"Everybody knows that's just a temporary state! Which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate!" Miss Spider said soothingly Scraps hopped up into Merida's lap when she sat down on the couch and he dropped her bouquet into her lap happily.

"Who cares!" Said the maggot

"Unimportant!" He said

"Overrated!" Cried Miss Spider

"Overblown!" Cried the maggot

"If only he could see how special you can be! If he only knew the you that we know!" Said the pair Merida rolled her eyes, and brushed off the only creatures she really ever thought of as her parents, her birth parents ignored her, probably didn't even care that she didn't come home. And now Jack didn't love her either. She laid back on the couch and Scraps hopped onto the floor.

"If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain, In the ice or in the sun it's all the same...  
And I feel my heart is aching...  
though it doesn't beat it's breaking.  
And the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real...  
I know that I am dead...

But it seems that I still have some tears to shed..."

And as she lay there, a solitary teardrop fell to the floor.  



End file.
